ARC Book Review: Royally Lost by Angie Stanton

Posted April 30, 2014 by Debby in Reviews / 26 Comments

I received this book for free from Publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!! This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

ARC Book Review: Royally Lost by Angie StantonRoyally Lost by Angie Stanton
Published by HarperTeen on May 6th, 2014
Genres: Contemporary, Romance, Young Adult
Pages: 336
Format: eARC
Source: Publisher via Edelweiss

Dragged on a family trip to Europe’s ancient cities, Becca wants nothing more than to go home. Trapped with her emotionally distant father, over-eager stepmother, and a brother who only wants to hook up with European hotties, Becca is miserable. That is until she meets Nikolai, a guy as mysterious as he is handsome. And she unknowingly finds herself with a runaway prince.

Nikolai has everything a guy could ask for-he's crown prince, heir to the throne, and girls adore him. But the one thing he doesn't have...is freedom. Staging a coup, he flees his kingdom and goes undercover on his own European tour.

When Nikolai and Becca meet, it’s their differences that draw them together. Sparks fly as they share a whirlwind of adventures, all the while dodging his royal guard. But Becca's family vacation ends in a matter of days. Will Nikolai and Becca be forced to say goodbye forever, will his destiny catch up to him, or will they change history forever?

0 Stars

I’ve put off writing this review for almost a month. I just didn’t want to put my rage pants on, but now, with the release approaching, I must do it. I must finally open up and be honest about all the different ways that this book infuriated me. So get a drink and a snack, strap yourself in, because we’ll be here a while.

Let me start this off with a quiz:

1. Are you a fan of Europe? Traveling? Exploring different cultures?
2. Are you opposed to instalove?
3. Does stalker behavior creep you out at all?
4. Do you feel like parents should be given the tiniest bit of respect?

Congratulations! If you answered YES to any of the above, this book will piss you off.

Becca is a terrible main character who hates Europe.

I’m not even kidding about the amount of Europe hatred that goes on here. All Becca does is bitch and moan and bitch and moan. Her dad and stepmom have DRAGGED her across the ocean for a trip across Europe, I mean how dare they. It’s all HISTORICAL stuff and ew, yuck, why won’t they move on and live in the present? Think I’m kidding?

Apparently it was a loop around the center of Vienna, but all Becca knew was that the tour guide droned on endlessly about long dead musicians, old buildings, and more history than anyone should ever have to hear. From what Becca could gather, some family named Habsburg seemed to be tied to everything. It’s not like she’d ever need to know any of this stuff. She needed fresh air, trees, and grass. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
“The kids in Europe must hate history class. These countries go back so freakin’ far. At least the U.S. is barely two hundred years old.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
As she stood alone among the bustling crowd, all she wanted was something familiar, like an icy cold American Diet Pepsi, french fries, and music that wasn’t three hundred years old. She checked out the streets jutting off the square and chose the street where she saw the McDonald’s. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
And that was all… in Chapter… 3.

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As a European, as a fan of culture and travel, Becca’s attitude just majorly pisses me off. She’s surrounded by so much beauty and culture and doesn’t respect it even for a second. Her attitude continues for the rest of the book, complaining about everything and generally being a stick in the mud.

“Look at all those dishes,” Becca said as they entered a room with floor-to-ceiling shelves filled with dishes, pulling his attention back to the present. “No one needs that many plates, and why did they save them? Because honestly, who cares about three-hundred-year-old plates?”

“Becca, you have a gift for stating the obvious. Let’s get out of here.” He led her past the remaining rooms and directly to the exit.

She sighed. “Thank you. I know history is important, but jeesh. Live for today, people! I can’t believe I have another week of this stuff.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
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Yes, Becca, putting dishes and porcelain work on display in a museum is totally a sign that we in Europe are stuck in the past. Us miserable hicks. I can’t believe I have 180 more pages of this stuff.

But once she meets Nikolai, everything changes. That’s not to say that she suddenly likes Europe – no. But the TRIP was worthwhile because she met the freaking love of her life. Clearly, the only good thing Europe has to offer the world is its men.

Other than the couple of moments of eye candy, Becca hated Europe. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
Becca couldn’t believe her luck. Maybe she was supposed to come to Europe to find a decent guy. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
She had started out this trip hating Europe. But then she met the most amazing guy on the planet. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
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This romance is absolute sickening instalove.

Nikolai first by coincidence runs into Becca twice. Being the kindhearted prince that he is, he offers to show her around. But actually he’s just a creepy stalker.

“No. I’m not following you.” Nikolai laughed. But he might like to. She seemed nice and was certainly beautiful. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
That was after their second encounter. Excuse me while I barf and also RUN LIKE HELL IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. That shit is not romantic. But fine, he feels a “connection” to her, so he tries to keep up with their tour group so they can hang out together. Within days such wonderful bombs as the following get dropped:

“You’re different from any other girl I’ve met.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
“I love the idea of chasing you around Europe, but at some point I need to figure out how to get my life under control, before I create an international incident.”

Didn’t he want to keep seeing her? She thought he liked her as much as she liked him. Maybe she was wrong. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
Be careful, Becca. Your co-dependence is showing. Oh, but let’s not forget my favorite:

He played with a lock of her hair. “If there’s one thing I can say about you, it’s that you’re an eternal optimist.”

She shrugged. “I can’t help it. It’s the only way I know how to get through the bad stuff.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
This is said completely without sarcasm, after Becca tells him he shouldn’t be so hard on himself. Um. Nikolai, please reflect on previous shown passages of Becca’s MEGA BITCHY ATTITUDE. WHAT ABOUT THAT SAYS ETERNAL OPTIMIST? I CAN’T FIND A SINGLE OPTIMISTIC THOUGHT – except, I guess, about you. Okay, I guess I can maybe see how this confusion arose. Maybe.

But on the fourth or fifth day of knowing each other, the good stuff starts coming in.

“I can’t imagine tomorrow without you. I never knew I could fall for someone so fast.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
“I thought I was running away, but it turns out I was running to you. Becca, you’ve made my life worth living again and now I have to leave you. This is killing me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Ever.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
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Change the might to definitely will because I’m so over this. This is the sappiest load of instalove I have ever had to witness in my miserable life and every drop of it makes me sick. This is not how relationships work. And they don’t even have an electrifying chemistry to fall back on either. All they do is kiss and hold hands a couple times. Even when they’re traveling alone in hostels and stuff, no serious making out, no sex. “You’ve made my life worth living again” because of what? My bitchy attitude? How I’ve torn your continent to shreds with my words? With my timid little kiss? FUCK OFF.

Becca is the most ungrateful bitch ever to her parents.

“Right about now they are probably downing their second glass of chardonnay with lunch. After that they’re going to some summer home or fourth residence of the eighteenth King of ‘I Couldn’t Care Less,’ and then a classical concert designed to put even the most caffeinated history fanatics to sleep.”

Nikolai laughed. “And they left you to fend for yourself?”

“No. My brother is around here somewhere. He maneuvered my dad into letting us skip out of their afternoon of torture. I was on my way to the Hofburg Palace to get tickets, just in case my dad checks, which is unlikely. Unless my brother, Dylan, lands another speeding ticket or I fail to make the honor roll, Dad wouldn’t know we’re on the same continent.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
The above is one example of how Becca and her brother, Dylan, take complete advantage of their parents. And it’s a conversation that strangely gets repeated almost to the DOT three pages later – a mistake I hope DEARLY gets fixed in the last round of edits. But basically, all throughout this book, Becca and Dylan skip out on their parents.

She couldn’t wait to escape the daily annoyance of spending time with her dad and Vicky. They were not a family unit and never would be. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
Well not with that attitude. This is what bothers me. She complains the entire book about how her stepmother drags her on this trip because she’s trying to get the family to spend more time together. Then she and her brother keep bailing on the plans and sneaking off to do their own thing and she pities herself because they’re not a real family. Are you kidding me???

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I get that having a distant family is tough. Her dad is occupied with work all the time. BUT THAT’S WHY YOU MAKE TRIPS LIKE THESE COUNT. IS IT YOUR DAD THAT’S SNEAKING OFF AND DITCHING YOU? NO. IT’S YOU, BITCH. HE’S TRYING, HE KEEPS ASKING, AND YOU KEEP TURNING HIM DOWN.

The absolute worst part is towards the end of their boat trip. Their parents had arranged that they would spend a few days in Munich together, but Dylan found some college students to party with and Becca wants to stay with Nikolai. Their stepmother has been cheerfully preaching about how awesome it is to go backpacking through Europe after high school – so they decide to ask them if they can go “backpacking together” while they really just sneak off to do their own stuff. Unsurprisingly, the parents, who have been shafted this entire trip and still want to get some family time in, say no. And the TANTRUM Becca throws then. I mean HOW DARE they say no to this completely reasonable offer???

Facepalm

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL. Then her dad gets called back on business, but they can’t all fit on the same plane. So the dad and stepmother fly back one day and Becca and Dylan are booked for the next day, but those ungrateful bitches switch the tickets for three days later so they can go along with their original plan. SO MUCH RAGE. SUCH ANGER. MUCH GRRR. I don’t have the best relationship with my parents, BUT YOU DON’T FUCKING PULL SHIT LIKE THIS. (Though also: stupid move of the parents. So much stupid in one book. I cannot even.)

The ending is a catastrophically happy one.

After mishaps on Becca’s journey alone with Nikolai, they get separated when he is kidnapped back to his country. I’m not even getting into how stupid it was for him to run away, and what a double standard he holds when his little sister copies his behavior, and how effortlessly he comes back at the end with policy ideas that no one in the government had apparently thought of before, despite them being really simple, because WHO HAS THAT KIND OF TIME and OH MY GOD THIS REVIEW IS ALREADY TOO LONG.

But basically they get separated and I cheered. Then they try to find each other and I groaned. Then Becca is the most idiotic MC I’ve ever encountered, with the following gem:

“Have you tried to contact him?” Vicky stared at the photo of Nikolai.

“I have, but all the info on the Mondovia Royal Family website doesn’t include an email or phone number. It’s like they live in the Dark Ages or something. All I could find was an address. I sent a letter the day after I got back.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
Seriously bitch? Seriously? You can’t believe that the royal family isn’t posting their email or PHONE NUMBER online? “Hello, Operator? I’d like to speak to the Prince of Mondovia?” GET A FUCKING CLUE. THE WORLD DOESN’T WORK LIKE THIS. But ugh ugh ugh, after EVENTS and THINGS and more of Nikolai’s STALKER BEHAVIOR, they find each other and HAPPILY EVER AFTER, EVERYTHING IS GOOD AGAIN.

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Summing Up:

No. Bad. Run.

GIF it to me straight!

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26 responses to “ARC Book Review: Royally Lost by Angie Stanton

  1. Haha, this was so great! I’ve been really looking forward to seeing your review of this – and it didn’t disappoint!
    Sounds like this book would make me super angry. The last quote you had in there is hilariously awful! YOU CAN’T JUST EMAIL OR PHONE A ROYAL FAMILY. Holy crap.
    Also, Mondovia? Pfft. Too much like Moldova and the fictional Genovia from The Princess Diaries for my liking!
    Imogen recently posted WWW WednesdaysMy Profile

  2. Oh my! This review. I was hoping for a happy review, because the premise of this books sounds pretty good. (plus I kind of like the cover). But after reading your review, I just don’t think I’ll enjoy reading this one. AT ALL. Thanks for the honest review!
    Sandra @ Sandra’s World of Books recently posted April Wrap UpMy Profile

  3. Holy, I read another negative review, but nothing tops yours Debby. I knew I wouldn’t be reading this book after the other review and you’ve strapped it into a box with a million padlocks, what was this book?! All the characters sounded so stupid, pathetic and just so one layered and that romance, oh my, I love a cheese fest but that is taking the crown for ‘imma make you hurl’ because that was bad bad bad. I get so much joy out of reading your ranty reviews Debby, please don’t ever stop, they’re too good to go without 🙂
    Amanda @ Book Badger recently posted Book Reviews – Sweet Peril/Sweet Peril ExtraMy Profile

    • Haha, likely there will be more ranty reviews, but I wish there wouldn’t be. Why can’t books just be good, so I don’t have to rant about them? 🙁

  4. Well, there’s no way in hell I’ll be touching this book! I totally loved your review though, the gifs are so perfect. Putting aside the issue of instalove, which I HATE HATE HATE, I think it’s the Europe bashing and anti-history attitude that’s completely put me off this book. I majored in history at university and I adore European history and Europe itself. Kinda hard not too! Plus my family heritage is Italian and I’m a dual Italian and Australian citizen, and I feel offended by the MC’s comments on that basis alone!
    Also, stupidity is a complete turn off for me, and this book lost me as a potential reader (again) with the MC’s comments about trying to contact the royal family. Excuse me while I go look up Prince Harry’s contact details online, I’ll totally find them right?
    Bernadette @ The Bumbling Bookworm recently posted Y is for… Young Adult!My Profile

    • Yep, Prince Harry’s details are obviously available to everyone online. *sigh* Her stupidity is truly amazing.

      I also felt personally insulted because she goes off ranting about how stupid, dull and boring classical music is many many times. I was in choir for 10 years and took a music history course and so while I understand that it’s not everyone’s thing, she’s just so hateful about EVERYTHING. I can’t find a single redeeming feature in her. -.-

  5. Oh man. You know, in the beginning, I might have been able to stomach the MC’s nonsensical European hatred, because yeah, sometimes teens get attitudes about dumb things, and yeah, I’ve been to that museum in Vienna and it does contain a mind-numbing amount of plates and silverware, even if they are pretty. But come on, how hard would it have been for the author to fix that attitude? To guide it toward one of new experiences and adventure and open-mindedness? In fact, when I hear that a book is about two teens getting lost in Europe, that’s what I EXPECT. New experiences! Wonder! Adventure!

    But it doesn’t matter, because unfathomable rudeness to parents and instalove? Nope nope nope.

    Thank you for falling on this grenade for us. It’s coming out of my ereader right now.
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted May 2014 New ReleasesMy Profile

    • Exactly. I would have understood and maybe tolerated her attitude if at the least it was watered down a bit, but also if she just showed some growth from it. But no, no awesome European adventure or opening up to new cultures…. just… she met the guy of her dreams. *headdesk* Ugh.

      You’re welcome 😛 glad I could be of assistance.

  6. Okay. This sounds awful. Which is really sad, cause I’ve enjoyed other works by this author (though they are all insta-love-ish, which is not my most favorite thing in the world, to say the least).
    But this… Err… no. Okay, to maintain my love to this author, I shall stay away from said book!

    Thanks, Debby! Sorry you had to go though it, though :/
    Nitzan Schwarz recently posted 2nd Time Around: Night Play by Sherrilyn KenyonMy Profile

  7. God, I freaking hate that “you’re different from any other girl I’ve met” bullshit.
    In fact, this entire book sounds shitty. I’m just going to go remove this book from my TBR lol.
    On the other hand, I enjoyed this review very much. Especially the summing up paragraph haha 😀
    Nara recently posted LGBT Month: Aristotle and Dante “Review”My Profile

  8. Wow, just wow! This review is honestly one of the best things I have read in a while. I was laughing so hard it was starting to hurt. I didn’t download this one because I assumed it would be exactly how you found it. A complete predictable cliché that would make me roll my eyes so hard they might just fall out my head. I am beyond happy that I was smart enough to skip this one. It sounds like a reading experience that would feel like torture to me. Thanks for the brilliant and honest review, will definitely NEVER be picking this one up! 🙂
    Reviews From A Bookworm recently posted Monthly Recap: Catching UpMy Profile

  9. Hahahaha. I can’t. Those quotes are so horrible. The way she complains about being ‘forced to go to Europe’ and how everything was worth it because she met a hot guy. The way she is ungrateful to her parents and bitches about them, when she is the one that destroys everything. What a crap story with a crap romance and a crap MC. I don’t think I could have finished this book.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted Monthly recap. April.My Profile

  10. As not a big fan of contemporaries I didn’t even consider this one for reading, and now after reading your review I’m quite glad I did! I wouldn’t touch this book with a ten foot pole!
    I’m European, I love ancient history and I love that I can walk near buildings that are older than some countries! Whenever I travel I love to see sights and museums, and that is because history matters!! I’m now enraged… *takes deep breath*
    So, yeah, ugh, not even looking at this book, everrr!!
    Pili recently posted Waiting On Wednesday #40!!My Profile

  11. Wow – I thought I was a brat when I was in high school and my family when to France (I thought it was so unfair that my parents were dragging we around to whatever they wanted to see – such an injustice, obviously), but I feel like a perfectly well-behaved daughter just reading some of those quotes. And it’s such a shame, too – princes and Europe sound like a great and fluffy story if they were done in the right way, but I guess I’ll make sure to avoid this book and just wait for a better version.

    And I’m glad you focused so much on the way she treated her parents – I don’t know if it’s age or what, but in the past few years I’ve gotten more and more annoyed when YA protagonists always complain about their parents with little reason to do so – it’s good to know when a book does that so I can avoid it and any other problems. Sometimes the parents’ actions warrant some complaining for sure, but it does not sound like this book is one of those cases.
    Genevieve recently posted All the Books (92)My Profile

    • Right, I feel like there’s a hint of realism in that some teenagers do resent their parents and gripe about the most ridiculous things, but in this case it just went over the top. And it never really showed what the hell the parents did that was “so inexcusable” in her juvenile eyes. Nor do I feel like she grew and learned that her behavior was wrong. So that’s just annoying.

      I guess this is also something that comes with age. Teenagers would probably like this more. I just know that parents do so much and sacrifice so much for their kids — and in this particular case, how she was treating them was definitely unfair.

  12. I just came across your review today on Goodreads. Oh, my goodness. This sounds absolutely dreadful! How did it even get published? I would love to visit Europe. I would love for my parents to pay for me to visit Europe. Having to read about a character who would rather be sitting back at home, eating greasy junk food and avoiding any sort of history or culture, would drive me crazy. What an ungrateful little…

    *ahem* I think I’ll be avoiding this one. Like, really avoiding it. Writing-down-the-title-and-author-so-I-won’t-accidentally-put-it-in-my-TBR-pile-one-day avoiding it.
    La Coccinelle recently posted In My Mailbox (71)My Profile

  13. I have a tendency of clicking around your reviews a bit too much and had to read this review once I saw the rating. I am still laughing at ” “You’ve made my life worth living again” because of what? My bitchy attitude? How I’ve torn your continent to shreds with my words? With my timid little kiss? FUCK OFF. ”
    Lauren at Bookmark Lit recently posted Top Ten Tuesdays #22: ResolutionsMy Profile

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