It’s been a RIDICULOUS week…

Posted December 19, 2014 by Debby in A Personal Note / 14 Comments

Time for something completely different, completely non-book related. I’m just sitting down and chatting with you guys because WOAH what a week of high highs and low lows and just…


Everything started on Tuesday, when during my morning commute someone jumped in front of my train. I knew this happened all the time, sadly, but I could never have imagined how hearing that crash and feeling those bumps would affect me as a passenger. I was completely shaken up. The whole day I felt out of sorts, and I couldn’t stop thinking about that morning – how horrible it must be that that seemed like the only remaining option for that person, and what must be going through the heads of their loved ones. I felt deeply, deeply sad – and it didn’t help when my afternoon commute was diverted because someone else jumped in front of a train at almost the exact same point.


I broke. I couldn’t keep it together anymore. Let me just say, right now: if you, dear reader, ever feel hurt, misunderstood, invisible, or like there’s no way out, this is my open invitation to you. You can talk to me. It doesn’t matter how much or little we’ve spoken before, I just don’t want anyone to feel so alone. Tweet me, email me, I can give you my G-chat or Skype info – I’ll be there for you.


While still on my way home, I got some unfortunate messages from my douchebag roommate. Followers on Twitter will know that I don’t call him the douchebag for nothing – he really is just that bad. This time he pretty much declared himself dictator of the apartment – he single-handedly without our consent picked a new roommate for the empty room, and we should just be fine with that – oh and by the way, when are we moving out? He subtly indicated that if he can kick me out of the apartment, he will – and technically I should be leaving soon because I’ve graduated and it’s an apartment building for college students. I started shaking all over and couldn’t keep it together anymore. When I finally got home, I rushed to my computer and responded to some apartment listings right away – the voice in my head screaming, “GET OUT OF THERE ASAP.”


Wednesday, I was called about one of the apartments I responded to. Thursday I saw it, and at the end of the day had agreed. I’M MOVING!!! It’s not ideal, because it’s still in Rotterdam, which means I still have a crazy long commute, so it’s more of a temporary solution, but it’s my own place – no freaking roommates anymore – and… yeah. My mental health is the most important thing, and it’s gotten to the point where I’m sometimes scared to leave my room in case I run into the douchebag. Urgh. Anyway, December 29th I’ll get the key and I’ll have 2-3 weeks to move everything, which is CRAZY and OMG HOW DO I PLAN THIS HOW ASDFJKL; THERE ISN’T A FLOOR IN IT, I HAVE TO LAY A FLOOR NOW? HOW DO I HOWWWWWWWWW


But aside from asking some family and friends to keep some weekends free to help me if they can, I’m letting this rest for now because… IT’S TIME FOR VACATION!

*dances around singing I'll Be Home For Christmas*

A photo posted by Debby (@snuggly_oranges) on


Tomorrow I’m flying out to Texas, where I’m spending Christmas with my dad, stepmother, and stepbrothers, and just THANK GOD. I’m in desperate need of vacation time – I am exhausted. I am a little panicky at the moment because OMG LEAVING TOMORROW EARLY MORNING PACKING WHAT DO I WHAAAAAAAAT, but that’ll work itself out just fine.

My Planned Holiday Reads

I'm Glad I Did My True Love Gave To Me Inspire Feed Inked Last Will and Testament

For just a *touch* of bookishness in this post, here are the books I hope to read in my 10 day vacation. Likely this will hardly happen, but oh well. I’m currently reading I’m Glad I Did so I’ll easily be able to finish that up – and it’ll be a milestone, because it is my last BEA ARC. EEEEEEE. My True Love Gave To Me I want to read for obvious Christmas-y reasons. I won a copy of Inspire and DUH it’s Cora Carmack, I must read this ASAP. Feed is for book club – and massive, so I’m worried if I can finish it or not. Inked is by the ever-so-lovely Eric Smith, and he asked me to be on the blog tour, so this gets HIGH PRIORITY status β™₯ (also, January’s going to be so busy now, I’m scared about blog obligations x_x). Last Will and Testament is another book I won, and I think new adult romance will be peeeeerrrrrrrfect for the holidays πŸ™‚

Then again, I might just drop this whole plan and read a bunch of random things instead. WHO KNOWS. WHO CARES. IT’S VACATION TIME (ALMOST).

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14 responses to “It’s been a RIDICULOUS week…

  1. Oh my gosh, That is absolutely horrible. I’m so sorry for that person, their family and everyone on the train. That is so, so, so sad *big hug* I know for sure I’d be completely traumatized.

    TEXAS?? I didn’t know you have family in TX. I live there. Yeehaw (um, how do you spell that?)

    I hope you get some much needed time to relax and I love your use of Doctor Who gifs. Have you watched the current season? I’ve not.

    Much love Debby!
    Kristen@My Friends Are Fiction recently posted My Friends Are Fiction is 2 Years Old!My Profile

    • *hugs* thank you! I didn’t expect it to hit me so hard, but damn.

      Haha, I knew you lived there. I actually lived there 10 years myself, so yeah. My dad’s still there. Yeehaw indeed y’all! (>.>)

      I haaaaave watched series 8 and I haaaaaaaaaaaaaate it. I dunno. I just don’t care for the new Doctor, I feel like they ruined Clara’s character, and the stories are just meh. I feel like I should keep watching, but I’m not very excited. I hope we get a new Doctor and/or companion ASAP.

      <3

  2. Ana Death Duarte

    Oh, my…! these suicides must have been terrible to watch *sends virtual hugs*

    … then the nasty roommate … *I feel you, had some, am glad I live alone now… hugs again*

    AND, OH, MY! I LOVE THE TENTH DOCTOR <333333

  3. *hugs* I totally know how you feel about that room mate situation. I never had a room mate that sounds as douchy as that person, but in general I HATE living with other people (my husband excluded). I think I just don’t get along well with people. I like having my own space, I don’t like other people turning my space (or the shared spaces) into a mess. I don’t mind MY messes, but I don’t like THEIRS. I don’t like having to work around their hours or habits or whatevs.

    I had ONE room mate in uni and then I went out of my way to get single rooms/apartments every year after that. I just didn’t want to do it anymore

    Have fun in Texas! You deserve a vacation!
    Ashley recently posted Designer Interview: Christin Thomas from Studio CTMy Profile

    • SAME. We have like ONE agreement in the flat: every week one person is assigned to clean the kitchen and vacuum the hallways. For at least the past 6 months, but probably closer to the past year, the douchebag has been skipping every turn. It’s ONE time in THREE WEEKS. It takes LESS THAN AN HOUR. But of course he’ll say I’m the anti-social bitchy one. I feel like cleaning the kitchen, or more just adhering to a “roommate agreement”, is the most basic sign of respect, and he cannot even do that much. And my turn is always after his, so I’m always stuck cleaning the mess of two weeks. UGH.

      asdfjkl; I’m still super peeved about this but I’m ALMOST FREE and then finally I’ll be able to put it all behind me.

      Thanks πŸ™‚ (sorry to reply so late, I am a faaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiilllllllll)

  4. Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry to hear about the train incidents. What a horrible experience. I can’t begin to fathom what the families must be going through. πŸ™

    Have fun with your family, though! It’s always so lovely to be able to go home for the holidays, and I’m so glad you can get away from your douchey roommate. Even if it’s just a temporary solution, I’m sure you can find something more permanent soon!
    Topaz recently posted Friday Poetry: “Canvas”My Profile

  5. I read this when it came out, I was just so near dying that I never stopped by here.

    Erk.

    Anyways, I so feel your pain and I wish I could smash some faces for you. I hate that you’re dealing with all of this crap. It just is so freaking unfair.
    Lyn Kaye recently posted Book Review: StrangerMy Profile

  6. Woow, the week was definitely crazy! I really hope you’re feeling better after what happened at the end of the week. Even though I haven’t witnessed a suicide, I’ve witnessed way way way too much self-harm and it really hurts. To know that these amazing people don’t see what I see when they look at themselves in the mirror. To know that they can’t talk to people when they’re feeling trapped inside a hole. And to know that some people are so used to it that they can’t even be bothered to find the light again. I really hope that everyone knows that they are loved and that there are always people out there that are willing to give more love.
    Laura Plus Books recently posted Top 10: Resolutions for 2015My Profile

    • Aww, that was beautiful Laura <3 Yeah, I basically feel the same way. I knew that this happened, a lot actually, but it wasn't till that day that I started thinking about just how sad and real it all is. I am feeling a bit better now though. I guess I'm just hoping I can be the kind of friend people can come to if they ever feel this way.

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