I received this book for free from Publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!! This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
Published by HarperTeen on May 6th, 2014
Genres: Contemporary, Romance, Young Adult
Source: Publisher via Edelweiss
Dragged on a family trip to Europe’s ancient cities, Becca wants nothing more than to go home. Trapped with her emotionally distant father, over-eager stepmother, and a brother who only wants to hook up with European hotties, Becca is miserable. That is until she meets Nikolai, a guy as mysterious as he is handsome. And she unknowingly finds herself with a runaway prince.
Nikolai has everything a guy could ask for-he's crown prince, heir to the throne, and girls adore him. But the one thing he doesn't have...is freedom. Staging a coup, he flees his kingdom and goes undercover on his own European tour.
When Nikolai and Becca meet, it’s their differences that draw them together. Sparks fly as they share a whirlwind of adventures, all the while dodging his royal guard. But Becca's family vacation ends in a matter of days. Will Nikolai and Becca be forced to say goodbye forever, will his destiny catch up to him, or will they change history forever?
I’ve put off writing this review for almost a month. I just didn’t want to put my rage pants on, but now, with the release approaching, I must do it. I must finally open up and be honest about all the different ways that this book infuriated me. So get a drink and a snack, strap yourself in, because we’ll be here a while.
Let me start this off with a quiz:
1. Are you a fan of Europe? Traveling? Exploring different cultures?
2. Are you opposed to instalove?
3. Does stalker behavior creep you out at all?
4. Do you feel like parents should be given the tiniest bit of respect?
Congratulations! If you answered YES to any of the above, this book will piss you off.
Becca is a terrible main character who hates Europe.
I’m not even kidding about the amount of Europe hatred that goes on here. All Becca does is bitch and moan and bitch and moan. Her dad and stepmom have DRAGGED her across the ocean for a trip across Europe, I mean how dare they. It’s all HISTORICAL stuff and ew, yuck, why won’t they move on and live in the present? Think I’m kidding?
Apparently it was a loop around the center of Vienna, but all Becca knew was that the tour guide droned on endlessly about long dead musicians, old buildings, and more history than anyone should ever have to hear. From what Becca could gather, some family named Habsburg seemed to be tied to everything. It’s not like she’d ever need to know any of this stuff. She needed fresh air, trees, and grass. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
“The kids in Europe must hate history class. These countries go back so freakin’ far. At least the U.S. is barely two hundred years old.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
As she stood alone among the bustling crowd, all she wanted was something familiar, like an icy cold American Diet Pepsi, french fries, and music that wasn’t three hundred years old. She checked out the streets jutting off the square and chose the street where she saw the McDonald’s. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie StantonAnd that was all… in Chapter… 3.
As a European, as a fan of culture and travel, Becca’s attitude just majorly pisses me off. She’s surrounded by so much beauty and culture and doesn’t respect it even for a second. Her attitude continues for the rest of the book, complaining about everything and generally being a stick in the mud.
“Look at all those dishes,” Becca said as they entered a room with floor-to-ceiling shelves filled with dishes, pulling his attention back to the present. “No one needs that many plates, and why did they save them? Because honestly, who cares about three-hundred-year-old plates?”
“Becca, you have a gift for stating the obvious. Let’s get out of here.” He led her past the remaining rooms and directly to the exit.
She sighed. “Thank you. I know history is important, but jeesh. Live for today, people! I can’t believe I have another week of this stuff.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
Yes, Becca, putting dishes and porcelain work on display in a museum is totally a sign that we in Europe are stuck in the past. Us miserable hicks. I can’t believe I have 180 more pages of this stuff.
But once she meets Nikolai, everything changes. That’s not to say that she suddenly likes Europe – no. But the TRIP was worthwhile because she met the freaking love of her life. Clearly, the only good thing Europe has to offer the world is its men.
Other than the couple of moments of eye candy, Becca hated Europe. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
Becca couldn’t believe her luck. Maybe she was supposed to come to Europe to find a decent guy. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
She had started out this trip hating Europe. But then she met the most amazing guy on the planet. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
This romance is absolute sickening instalove.
Nikolai first by coincidence runs into Becca twice. Being the kindhearted prince that he is, he offers to show her around. But actually he’s just a creepy stalker.
“No. I’m not following you.” Nikolai laughed. But he might like to. She seemed nice and was certainly beautiful. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie StantonThat was after their second encounter. Excuse me while I barf and also RUN LIKE HELL IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. That shit is not romantic. But fine, he feels a “connection” to her, so he tries to keep up with their tour group so they can hang out together. Within days such wonderful bombs as the following get dropped:
“You’re different from any other girl I’ve met.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
“I love the idea of chasing you around Europe, but at some point I need to figure out how to get my life under control, before I create an international incident.”Be careful, Becca. Your co-dependence is showing. Oh, but let’s not forget my favorite:
Didn’t he want to keep seeing her? She thought he liked her as much as she liked him. Maybe she was wrong. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
He played with a lock of her hair. “If there’s one thing I can say about you, it’s that you’re an eternal optimist.”This is said completely without sarcasm, after Becca tells him he shouldn’t be so hard on himself. Um. Nikolai, please reflect on previous shown passages of Becca’s MEGA BITCHY ATTITUDE. WHAT ABOUT THAT SAYS ETERNAL OPTIMIST? I CAN’T FIND A SINGLE OPTIMISTIC THOUGHT – except, I guess, about you. Okay, I guess I can maybe see how this confusion arose. Maybe.
She shrugged. “I can’t help it. It’s the only way I know how to get through the bad stuff.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
But on the fourth or fifth day of knowing each other, the good stuff starts coming in.
“I can’t imagine tomorrow without you. I never knew I could fall for someone so fast.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
“I thought I was running away, but it turns out I was running to you. Becca, you’ve made my life worth living again and now I have to leave you. This is killing me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Ever.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
Change the might to definitely will because I’m so over this. This is the sappiest load of instalove I have ever had to witness in my miserable life and every drop of it makes me sick. This is not how relationships work. And they don’t even have an electrifying chemistry to fall back on either. All they do is kiss and hold hands a couple times. Even when they’re traveling alone in hostels and stuff, no serious making out, no sex. “You’ve made my life worth living again” because of what? My bitchy attitude? How I’ve torn your continent to shreds with my words? With my timid little kiss? FUCK OFF.
Becca is the most ungrateful bitch ever to her parents.
“Right about now they are probably downing their second glass of chardonnay with lunch. After that they’re going to some summer home or fourth residence of the eighteenth King of ‘I Couldn’t Care Less,’ and then a classical concert designed to put even the most caffeinated history fanatics to sleep.”The above is one example of how Becca and her brother, Dylan, take complete advantage of their parents. And it’s a conversation that strangely gets repeated almost to the DOT three pages later – a mistake I hope DEARLY gets fixed in the last round of edits. But basically, all throughout this book, Becca and Dylan skip out on their parents.
Nikolai laughed. “And they left you to fend for yourself?”
“No. My brother is around here somewhere. He maneuvered my dad into letting us skip out of their afternoon of torture. I was on my way to the Hofburg Palace to get tickets, just in case my dad checks, which is unlikely. Unless my brother, Dylan, lands another speeding ticket or I fail to make the honor roll, Dad wouldn’t know we’re on the same continent.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
She couldn’t wait to escape the daily annoyance of spending time with her dad and Vicky. They were not a family unit and never would be. ARC of Royally Lost by Angie StantonWell not with that attitude. This is what bothers me. She complains the entire book about how her stepmother drags her on this trip because she’s trying to get the family to spend more time together. Then she and her brother keep bailing on the plans and sneaking off to do their own thing and she pities herself because they’re not a real family. Are you kidding me???
I get that having a distant family is tough. Her dad is occupied with work all the time. BUT THAT’S WHY YOU MAKE TRIPS LIKE THESE COUNT. IS IT YOUR DAD THAT’S SNEAKING OFF AND DITCHING YOU? NO. IT’S YOU, BITCH. HE’S TRYING, HE KEEPS ASKING, AND YOU KEEP TURNING HIM DOWN.
The absolute worst part is towards the end of their boat trip. Their parents had arranged that they would spend a few days in Munich together, but Dylan found some college students to party with and Becca wants to stay with Nikolai. Their stepmother has been cheerfully preaching about how awesome it is to go backpacking through Europe after high school – so they decide to ask them if they can go “backpacking together” while they really just sneak off to do their own stuff. Unsurprisingly, the parents, who have been shafted this entire trip and still want to get some family time in, say no. And the TANTRUM Becca throws then. I mean HOW DARE they say no to this completely reasonable offer???
BUT THAT’S NOT ALL. Then her dad gets called back on business, but they can’t all fit on the same plane. So the dad and stepmother fly back one day and Becca and Dylan are booked for the next day, but those ungrateful bitches switch the tickets for three days later so they can go along with their original plan. SO MUCH RAGE. SUCH ANGER. MUCH GRRR. I don’t have the best relationship with my parents, BUT YOU DON’T FUCKING PULL SHIT LIKE THIS. (Though also: stupid move of the parents. So much stupid in one book. I cannot even.)
The ending is a catastrophically happy one.
After mishaps on Becca’s journey alone with Nikolai, they get separated when he is kidnapped back to his country. I’m not even getting into how stupid it was for him to run away, and what a double standard he holds when his little sister copies his behavior, and how effortlessly he comes back at the end with policy ideas that no one in the government had apparently thought of before, despite them being really simple, because WHO HAS THAT KIND OF TIME and OH MY GOD THIS REVIEW IS ALREADY TOO LONG.
But basically they get separated and I cheered. Then they try to find each other and I groaned. Then Becca is the most idiotic MC I’ve ever encountered, with the following gem:
“Have you tried to contact him?” Vicky stared at the photo of Nikolai.Seriously bitch? Seriously? You can’t believe that the royal family isn’t posting their email or PHONE NUMBER online? “Hello, Operator? I’d like to speak to the Prince of Mondovia?” GET A FUCKING CLUE. THE WORLD DOESN’T WORK LIKE THIS. But ugh ugh ugh, after EVENTS and THINGS and more of Nikolai’s STALKER BEHAVIOR, they find each other and HAPPILY EVER AFTER, EVERYTHING IS GOOD AGAIN.
“I have, but all the info on the Mondovia Royal Family website doesn’t include an email or phone number. It’s like they live in the Dark Ages or something. All I could find was an address. I sent a letter the day after I got back.” ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton